The Good Stuff

Certain things in life are saved for those of us who fit into descriptive categories like “artsy fartsy” and “clog wearing”. It would be reasonable to say that I am not a fit for either of these categories, and may be as far away from them as a person can get since I’m mostly amused by rules, process, boxes and squares.

Without offending those who seem to have a knack for colorful dress, or choosing Dutch-inspired safety footwear, I might suggest that the above two categories fit with types who make their own kitchen gadgets from materials grown in their own gardens, or drink breakfast juices from green plants that would send my allergies so far into outer space that I’d need a moon sized Zyrtec to stop the itch that’s taken the place of my eyeballs, or think it’s a good plan to roast their own coffee beans in a “not intended for that purpose” popcorn popper out in their back yards just so they can have fresh coffee every week. Wait, what?

Anyway, with my fresh coffee supplies cut off (read hair and cake)
I had to come up with a new way to obtain the “good stuff”. Why, you may ask, was it not possible to just buy some coffee at the local market like the rest of the civilized world? Good question, and here’s the answer. Did you know that coffee, once roasted, is similar to a baked good but with a little longer freshness window? After its 1-3 day rest period its ready to brew, and it stays freshest for around 2 weeks. After that its flavor drops off by about 50% and continues to deteriorate from there until it’s nothing but a brown excuse for what most of us have been lead to believe is coffee. That being the case, most of us are paying a premium price for an already stale product. It’s like going to the bakery and getting the day-olds for the “baked fresh today” price. Not cool. If you buy coffee at your local market, chances are that you can’t find the “roasted on” date anywhere on the bag. Chances are also pretty good that what’s on the shelf is anywhere from weeks to months old before you even get it home to your own kitchen. The biggest bummer about this is that we are getting robbed of the amazing aroma and flavor that goes along with freshly roasted coffee.

To solve our supply issue, we found instructions on roasting coffee at home in a “not intended for that use” popcorn popper. Even though the control and quality of the roast was very questionable, it was fresh, and better than anything I was willing to pay for at the grocery store. Every time a friend found out that we were roasting coffee at home in a popcorn popper they looked at us with the “you’re weirder than I thought” face, but inevitably drank the coffee, and said “wow, that’s really tasty”. We carried on like this for years until last year when I saw that a well known industrial roaster manufacturer had come out with a mini version of their commercial roaster. With my new job, I apparently felt I had some money to spend, so I told my husband that it was time for us to ditch the caveman method and use a piece of equipment that was meant to roast the coffee well. I announced that this would by my baby, and I would promise to take care of it and learn to use it properly, and teach myself everything I needed to know about roasting coffee (kind of sounds like the structure of the speech I gave my parents when I begged for my first pet).

My new roaster delivered, and I was officially dubbed head-roaster of the family.